Estate Planning: How to Choose a Guardian

Jennifer tackles estate planning, with a question from Nancy in Holden, MA

We just had our second baby and we know we need a will. Our problem is naming the guardian. My husband wants to name one person and I want to name another. We’re at an impasse…do you have any suggestions?

Hi Nancy, I talk to a lot of couples about estate planning and choosing the guardian often is their biggest obstacle. Some people take so long agreeing on a guardian that their kids are grown before they get their estate plan done. Don’t let this happen to you!

Fortunately, you and your husband each have separate Will documents. Who you name doesn’t need to be the same in each document. For now, go ahead and name who you want in your own Will and have your husband do the same. Don’t worry that you’re each choosing someone different. This suggestion was made to me years ago by a lawyer friend. It’s helped many couples get past this point of indecision so they can get their plans in order.

Remember that you can change your Will if you change your mind. In fact, your estate plan should be revisited every 3 or 4 years and accept for a few special exceptions (your attorney will tell you what these are) the decisions you make in today’s documents can be changed.

Once you’ve decided on a possible guardian, talk to them about their willingness to serve. Make sure they can afford to raise your kids (if not, buy additional life insurance if you can) and they understand your values. Let your family and, if they’re old enough, your kids know who you’ve designated to avoid surprises later.

Jennifer is the founder of Compass Planning, and a weekly commentator on NECN’s Business Day at 6:30 p.m. Look for her every Tuesday, or check out her blog, Jennifer’s Compass.